What Women Want

WhatwomenwantI love my husband and wouldn’t trade him for the world. However, when you live with someone 24/7 you are going to drive each other a little CRAZY. Think bona fide, straight jacket, “Animal” on the drums from The Muppets, Poltergeist, Lindsey Lohan, Housewives of Beverly Hills CRAZY!

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What women want in relationships certainly varies by personality, background and family dynamics, but I think most estrogen dominant friends would agree with these scenarios.

#1 – You want to “talk.” It’s a bonding thing with most women. It goes a little something like this. You ask about their day, if anything out of the ordinary happened and/or what they have planned for tomorrow. Responses that drive a woman CRAZY are “Good,” “OK,”or “I don’t know.” By the way, you can try the open-ended question route but generally you are going to get the same answers. You push for details and they get annoyed. Seriously? Is the dang sports report or Rocky that is being viewed for the sixty fourth time THAT much more important than conversing with the love of your life? Most women are emotional beings and talking fuels fulfillment in relationships.

Dude seriously

#2 – You are multitasking as usual. Cooking, cleaning, breaking up kid on kid combat, changing diapers, rushing, hyperventilating, about to dive into the chocolate stash due to stress and your man is either sitting on the couch with the iPad or located somewhere in a remote location of the house, like the GARAGE, doing nothing imperative for survival. Dude, seriously? Grab the kid with the dirty pull up or stir the pot. I AM superwoman but my cape needs to be ironed and I’m busy keeping people alive over here! Let’s not even think about giving an irritated smirk when asked to intervene. That will instigate CRAZY to the 3rd power.

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#3 – “Babe, I have a sitter for us! Let’s go on a hot date!” The response that makes a woman question a man’s undying devotion is a response like  “Well, we will just have to see.” WHAT? Did you hear what I just said? “ALONE” time. It’s in the bag. These things don’t come around often like sass from the mouth of your kids. When all your man can drum up is an unemotional disclaimer of passiveness, it sends the wrong message. At this point, a woman may not even want to go on a date now. Fake it, muster up an “I would LOVE to babe” or maybe even plan the outing. Women need men to be clear that time with them is still a priority.

#4 – It alarms you when you realize your man has no idea how to do a basic thing that you do EVERY SINGLE DAY for the kids. Take, for instance, bathing a child. They may even cheerful agree to do it for you once in a solar eclipse. What happens? The kid starts screaming because he used YOUR shampoo instead of the strategically placed and clearly labeled “Tear-free” shampoo that you told him to use prior to bathroom departure. Men are so good at so many things, but mama duties are generally not one of them. Two words for us ladies: “Job Security.”

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#5 – Some guys are Mr. Fix Its. Some really are. Some THINK they are. Fortunately for women, Map Quest was one of the greatest inventions/cures for a man not asking for directions. Too bad there isn’t a Mr. Fix It Robot that men can tell what to do and still be able to beat their chests in testosterone powered victory. The bathroom light goes out and they “try” to replace it. Three hours later, the bathroom FAN is now inoperable. What the? Men hate to ask for help and women just want their stuff working properly and quickly. Heaven forbid its the washing machine, the air conditioner or stove.

#6 – Schedules. In our home, it’s my responsibility for getting the kids where they need to be because daddy works unpredictable hours. He is a phenomenal provider. I appreciate him. This is true for most women I know with children. But God forbid we get sick. Most men act like it’s the end of the world if they have to drop off and pick up multiple kids from different locations at various times. Don’t stress us women out with something like this. I mean, it’s even written down on paper with addresses that can be plugged into the trusty Map Quest.

What Women Want
What Women Want

#7 – Women want to feel good about how they look, especially after pumping out a bunch of wild chimpanzees. Women want an honest assessment of their forever changed physique. Generally, our men are the primary individuals to obtain such feedback. This is a tricky one. Never lie to a woman. Regardless of the subject matter, a woman will question every single word that comes out of his mouth until his dying breath if caught lying. We want honesty but not TOO much honesty. Kind of like the two positives and a negative approach to employee feedback. For example, the employee is punctual, pleasant but just stole $1208.00 from the cash register. It won’t end well but make the process a best case scenario.

Furthermore, when women take the initiative to work out, eat healthy and get their butts in gear (literally), men may end up sleeping on the couch if these endeavors are not supported or participated in. Just imagine the female wrath that can be avoided and the benefits that could be enjoyed (wink wink) if men would lead and assist in the process of building healthier lifestyles for the family.

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Women want it all and may demand too much from their significant other at times and these issues can certainly be applied the other way around. However, women will still be driven crazy by our men because isn’t that what happens in marriage and confined spaces? The good news, though, is that if we all keep working hard to make our relationships stronger and adapt to one another’s needs, we will hopefully have a happy lifetime to get it right and get off the crazy train before we kick the bucket.

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High five, fist bump women. We shall overcome. 🙂

 

 

 

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