You used to consider yourself cool.
You especially thought yourself hip when it came to your choice of Hollywood movie selections. Can’t you just picture you pre-kid, dressed to the hilt physique merrily marching up to the ticket counter?
“Yes, two adults please.” Then, waltzing to the front of the line at concessions?
“Popcorn with my butter? Why, absolutely!” The metabolism was so superhuman that you could scarf down that carbohydrate ridden lard with a serving of Goobers and maintain the scales with little effort.
The real entertainment came after the movie credits had run. Socially approved one-liners from these movies made for hysterics when applied to well timed scenarios. Our favorites:
“The TRUTH? You can’t handle the truth!” (A Few Good Men)
“You complete me.” (Jerry McQuire)
“I’ll be watching you.” (Meet The Parents)
“We gotta keep our composure!” (Old School)
“Nobody puts baby in a corner.” (Dirty Dancing)
“Get busy living or get busy dying.” (The Shawshank Redemption)
“My precious.” (Lord of the Rings)
However, just like your post-procreation metabolism, your entertainment viewing options change as well. Like many of you, after birthing a litter of little ones and seeing our date nights obscure into oblivion, my husband and I find ourselves watching scores of kid movies. We have one TV by choice at the present time. That means, even if we aren’t actually watching, we hear EVERY SINGLE word, song and catch phrase so often that they are etched into memory.
If these 12 children’s movie one-liners cause familiarity of an instance where you said the exact same thing, then be comforted. Your dialogue is just as corny as ours!
(Consider yourself to have reached a new low if you are still quoting #12.)
#1 – Deciphering toddler talk:
“For the first time in forever, I finally understand.” (Frozen)
#2 – Come back to a temper tantrum:
“You’re a sad, strange, little man…” (Toy Story)
#3 – A compliment to a yummy dinner mom cooked:
“That’ll do pig. That’ll do.” (Babe)
#4 – Night time ritual:
“I love you. I love you more. I love you most.” (Tangled)
#5 – Motivation for chore work:
#6 – Response to irritation of any kind:
“Darn, darn, darn, darny-darn!” (Lego Movie)
#7 – Tending to mountains of laundry:
“Just keep swimming.” (Finding Nemo)
#8- The disrespectful, crazy driver at carpool:
“Thanks Satan.” (Wreck-It Ralph)
#9 – A wife feeling under appreciated:
“I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you’re ever going to get! (The Incredibles)
#10 – Stopping mid-conversation, thinking of something you forgot to do:
#11 – When you clean all day and the house is destroyed in 30 minutes:
“Pluck my life.” (Angry Birds)
#12 – On the verge of losing it:
“Let it go.” (Frozen)
There you go.
We are enlightened enough now to realize that, although we really weren’t that cool before kids, living in the world of parenting has transformed our wit and sarcasm to the level of daycare playground conversations.
Doing it perfectly is the stuff of kid movies: magic, fairy tales and make believe.
Take pride in the fact, though, that any cheesy, G-rated dialogue obtained proves that you spend a lot of precious time with your kids and that makes up for any lost cool points your newfound entertainment has cost you.
Two thumbs up.