God spoke to me in a very unconventional way last night. I feel led to share the story. Please read with reflection into your own life and know this lesson is for all of us.
As one who possesses a highly extroverted personality, there isn’t much about my life that I don’t mind sharing with others. That quality is inviting to some and cringe worthy to others, but we are who we are and it is what it is!
However, lately there have been exceptions to that personality trait. Over the past several months, life circumstances have caused me to draw inward and trusting people doesn’t come easily anymore. My relationships with others must be thoroughly tested to prove they are worthy of my openness. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism, maybe it’s fear or maybe it’s just simply the smart thing to do.
Back in the spring, I was asked to write a deeply candid letter. It was for a family member and only a select few were privy to the content. It was a short three pages long (extrovert remember?) and what I said was incredibly raw and honest. What was written was meant for a time of reflection, support and motivation and it was personal.
Having it saved on my computer, I decided I didn’t need the hard copy. I remember it being in my purse and thought with certainty that I threw it away.
Yesterday afternoon, I’m in the car with my quiet, sit in the corner, yeah right NEVER, children with my husband driving to a friend’s house. All three kids are multitasking between iPads and the radio stations. The conversations:
“Mom, can you turn it up? That’s my FAVORITE.” (starts singing that Spanish Beiber song) Big Beast Child
“Ugh mama I HATE that song! Change it! He ALWAYS gets to listen to what he wants and I never do!” Diva Darling Middle Child
“I got dat chicken mama and it had babies. Oh no! ‘Dere’s a skeleton coming! I’ll save ‘dem! (swoosh swoosh, growl growl)” Tazmanian Devil Child
In the middle of the chaos, a private Facebook message alert from a stranger comes over on my phone.
My heart sank into my stomach, my hands began lightly trembling and I experienced the all too familiar “fight or flight” rush of heat from your core to extremities.
Somehow, some seemingly impossibly way, that very letter had mysteriously ended up on the floorboard of a complete stranger’s minivan floor in Florida. This lady was asking if I was the same person by the same name listed on the letter that contained certain subject matter. Oh wow. It absolutely was. There was no denying it. Exposed and on the verge of becoming an emotional train wreck, I give her my number.
Who else knew? At least two people. The person sending me the message wasn’t the same person that found the letter. At this point I knew the letter had been posted on social media. Let’s just say this “open book” who has zero problems keeping it together 99.9% of the time, was about to be straight jacket bound. Like a nightmare.
Four long minutes later, she calls.
A sweet, eloquent voice begins to speak. I quickly learn that she is a member of a closed, Christian mom’s online group and from North Carolina. She confirmed that my letter had been mysteriously found on the minivan floorboard of one of their group members and she had posted the letter to their secret group to pray for us. Complete strangers.
That’s nice and all but I’m still mortified at this point! How in the world? Dumbfounded.
“Your letter has blown up our secret group page and has really led to incredible discussions. So many of us are going through similar circumstances and your words have impacted us. We’ve been searching to find you to let you know you and your family have been being prayed for constantly. We’re also taking the letter down out of respect for your privacy, and for what it’s worth, you’ve touched a lot of people.”
My voice breaks. Is this sincere? It sounds authentic but how do you really know? My inwardness regarding this struggle has become a familiar friend lately. This isn’t easy.
After hanging up, God then spoke.
As God came to Moses through a burning bush that wasn’t consumed by the fire, this was a hot mess of a season but it would not destroy those of us affected. God also orchestrated this encounter with Moses as a call to action to free those enslaved. The action required of Moses was uncomfortable, wasn’t logical by human standards and forced him to operate in his weaknesses. Truthfully, there have been moments recently where I have felt as a slave to circumstances. I mean, don’t we all? Was this letter being found forcing me to act to free myself of negative mindsets and unnecessary strongholds I was allowing within myself?
What I have refused to share to only a select few, got shared out of my control for a greater purpose than my own.
You see, last night many of these women sent messages my way of encouragement, revealing how widespread the commonality of our struggles really are.
I facebooked stalked them all. 🙂 From New Jersey, Tampa, South Africa and more. Again, all complete strangers.
It’s really a small world and I’m still completely overwhelmed. The unconventional means that God orchestrates to communicate with us are evidence of his constant presence and relentless actions behind the scenes in our lives.
When you feel alone, you never are. For months I have praying for the very thing I received last night: evidence of God’s hand and a bird’s eye perspective in the stormy fire. I am surrounded by great friends that aren’t strangers and fabulous people that are.
May God also give you your burning bush moment that you need at the very exact time it is needed. Finally, let this be a reminder that sincere words of encouragement really do help heal.
Be the good.