“Toddler Meltdown On Aisle 1”

It was a moment of intense urgency and misplaced confidence. I had a Pharmacy pickup and we were out of the baby daddy’s Chobani Lime yogurt. Plus, baby girl was on this health kick wanting apples and peanut butter. What? When someone actually REQUESTS healthy things to chow down on, then mama MUST deliver. Therefore, offspring number three and I enter Publix sans nap and a snotty nose.

Within thirty seconds of walking through the doors I see a friend, we hug, she sweet talks the grumpy beast and then he slaps me in the face. Well, that was fun. I may have disciplined in PUBLIC. Hope no ones calls DHR. Immediately after, I go to put the kid into the “Twuck” grocery cart and then “Stage 5 Clinger” surfaces. Grrr. Now he’s crying, snotty face buried into my left shoulder. I grab the steering wheel cart, secure kid on hip and head to the deli section.

We take a detour as we pass the bakery. “I want cake mama. The ‘geen’ ones.” Ugh, I cave. He’s pitiful. Crocodile tears streaming down his snot ridden face. Check. We resume the intended path to the deli.

Fantabulous! There’s a line for that preservative free, low sodium Boar’s Head turkey. Do the baby daddy and I really need this? I don’t have to cook a couple meals if I buy this stuff. Motivated, I choose to endure it.

Next thing I know he has squirmed his way from my grip and grabs a glass container of pickled olives. “Wook mama!”, and starts running from me. I can’t blame a pickle jar disaster on my water breaking. This child’s mama is spayed. He wants down and nothing is working to alleviate this desire.

Then the public toddler meltdown commences. The crying crescendos to epic proportions as the stares of all those loyal deli customers pierce into my back. I think “Well, there’s no going back now. Don’t be that mom that yanks the kid up by the arm. Show them your maternal side. CAMERAS are on you woman.”

I then kneel down to his level, give him a gentle hug and he sobs snotty tears (again) onto my left shoulder. He doesn’t feel well. Time to pick up the pace. I quickly leave the scene of the crime and let him down in the freezer section. Somehow, opening the door to freezing air and grabbing veggie bags provides just the right amount of substantial serotonin needed for BOTH of us to survive this trip.

Fast forward to check out. He helps me unload the yogurt! This is going fabulous! WRONG. As I am swiping my chip embedded debit card (conspiracy theory 101 on that by the way) baby boy sprints towards the electronic doors that lead to ongoing traffic. EEK! Between the bag girl, the assistant manager and myself, we contain the beast. “No! I do not want cash back.” As I throw the crazed toddler onto my shoulder, the lady who bagged my groceries politely asks “May I help you out with these?” “Yesssss you may! Bless you woman.”

As we head to the car, the offspring is calm with his healthy snack I got for him at checkout. (I bribed my kid with candy…don’t judge). Then the nice lady says to me “Honey, I have been there. They just get older and you have a new set of issues. My son is 16 now and he comes home to visit every three months. He looks 25 you know. I help him clean out his filthy car each visit and last time I found some things that made me wish I could go back to those toddler tantrums. At least he’s being SAFE I guess.”

Double take what?! You heard me right. This lady helped her grown son clean used “birth control products” out of his vehicle slash love shack. Is this what I have to look forward to? We may be introducing that STD manual and ten pound birthing video into bedtime ritual a little earlier than anticipated! I’ll take a toddler meltdown on Aisle 1 any day people. Thank you Publix. An extra fifty dollars in healthy frozen veggies and a fresh perspective. 🙂

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3K&aBD.com goes LIVE!

Today is the day I officially begin this blogging adventure. “Threekidsandababydaddy.com is going LIVE!

Why would I join the millions of bloggers already in cyberspace? I have three reasons to be exact…

#1 – I enjoy working and desire a creative outlet other than dissecting what science experiment awaits me in the kid’s bathroom each week.

#2 – The days can seem long with family responsibilities but the quality time with them and on this earth is brief. I choose to focus on and learn from the moments…the good, bad, ugly and hysterical.

#3 – Parenting, with all its challenges, should provide us with more feelings of commonality and perspective. Let’s chronicle that chaos.

SO! As nerf bullets whiz by my face and as I break up a sword fight, let me introduce the family! Who are the players in threekidsandababydaddy.com?

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Well, first there is the Baby Daddy. The one besides the Good Lord who makes the three kids all possible. He is a quiet, introspective, objective thinker who is described by his closest friends as steady and loyal. I was first attracted to his manly hands and broad shoulders. We met on a blind date, got married and then got busy.

The three kiddos bare three distinct personalities that make the job of parenting quite challenging.

Kid #1 – The 10 year old firstborn is currently a 110 pound, carbohydrate loving, reading obsessed, baseball and basketball playing beast that is strong willed to the hilt. He is predominantly laid back, yet predictably stubborn, and has the kindest heart except when his sister and video games are involved. His witty self wreaks of preteen hormones and frequently forgets to apply deodorant.

Kid #2 – The introverted, 7 year old middle child happens to be our only daughter. The diva darling inherited her daddy’s childhood need for braces, as well as her mother’s far sighted vision and zest for drama. She is a lover of music, all things animal related and is currently a straight “A” student. For the most part, she is the only child that minds us the FIRST time. (Insert Hallelujah chorus). Also, her scream is so shrill you lose hearing temporarily. Don’t let the sensitive, perfectionist nature fool you. Girlfriend can throw down a temper tantrum. Finally, she is a devoted mama to her fur baby, “Bella the Shinese”.

Kid #3 – The caboose is the 3 year old, extroverted, high energy wild man that we lovingly refer to as the “Tasmanian Devil Child”. He earns his nickname honestly, as you will quickly learn. He is the only child I was able to stay home with. A decision that I have never regretted, despite the permanent eye bags obtained as a result. He has currently gone three days without his beloved “pappy”.

Finally, there’s me, the Baby Mama. I am a take charge, extroverted, people loving personality. Blessed with a very high sense of urgency, patience is not, and never will be, my virtue. I have loads of last minute parenting ideas to share. FUN is my middle name and parties are my specialty. Hang out with me and you WILL have a good chuckle or two. I LOVE to talk and have discovered that I consequently LOVE to write. After serving in a successful Sales career ranging from Human Resources to Pharmaceuticals, I chose to give all that up to be a full time mom and wife.

So I say all that to give the motive for creating this blog. I write to capture each crazy experience of the parenthood adventure, one moment at a time, with the hopes of giving us all an outlet from the insanity in the world. I want to ENJOY parenthood and chronicling the moments forces me to look longer, examine deeper and love fuller.

I welcome you to join me in this adventure at threekidsandababydaddy.com!

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