To the woman waiting for and wanting a child, your navigation through this season in life should be commended.
My only experience with the emotional uncertainty and physical longing of wanting to have a child, but not fully convinced I would be able to, was an 18 month window prior to conceiving my first child. I had no medical issues. It simply was a situation of God’s timing and I didn’t earn the badge for becoming an infertility expert. However, like most all mothers in the world, it deeply affects many I care about.
Three children later, I now have close friends that are desperately doing everything they can to have a child of their own. Watching them go through miscarriages, failed treatments, exhausting procedures and emotional heartache absolutely breaks my heart.
Of course, the burden I have for them can’t hold a candle to what they are experiencing.
All the poking, prodding, ultrasounds, injections, pregnancy tests, insomnia, weight gain, doctor’s appointments, emotional chaos, marital tension, frustration, anger, sorrow, hope, disappointment and increased expenses serve as a melting pot for an oppressed spirit.
For the most part, they can fake their struggle and put on a happy face in public. I can only imagine the suffering in silence.
To the close friend or complete stranger who is navigating life through infertility, you deserve to be praised. Thank you for…
- going to that person’s baby shower as painful as it was and listening to all the other mom’s talk about their children incessantly.
- visiting the hospital room of the friend that just seemingly gave birth to her healthy child.
- remaining emotionally available to others when you have little reserves left to deal with your own struggle.
- trying to schedule girls’ trips even though your calendar is one of complete uncertainty.
- not berating the mother who just yelled at her kid because in that moment she can’t see the extraordinary gift she has been given.
- overlooking the unthoughtful or ignorant things people say to try to make you feel better because you are a bigger person.
- shining love on others when your own light is dimmed.
- liking and positively commenting on other’s social media posts about what crazy thing their kids did that week when all you want to do is to delete your account and go cry in a closet.
- not letting your loneliness, lack of fulfillment and burden turn you into a calloused soul.
- being an example to others in suffering that one can be strong, kind and generous while in the midst of one of the worst battles a woman can face.
You are loved. Keep fighting the good fight and thank you for influencing other women to be better in character and more appreciative for their blessings. May your prayers be answered and spirit encouraged.