Top 21 Of Going Back To Work

I’d like to be able to say which is easier: being a stay-at-home mom or career mom. My verdict? Differing daily functions, yet both are equally challenging and rewarding in their own way.

Random observations from my first two weeks back at working in hospital sales and management and juggling family:

  1. Ditched my summer Yellowbox sandals habit for some stylish heels to match every black outfit in my closet arsenal. BLISTERS y’all. Blisters after ONE hour! I like fashion. I like comfort more. Amazon…two day shipping…$25 comfy, basic pumps. BOOM.
  2. I love the way a hospital smells. Minus rare C diff encounters and such, of course.
  3. Developing a keen distaste for hospital fluorescent lights. They bring out every facial flaw, eye bag, wrinkle and stray gray root hairs within seconds of exposure. I’m a 41 year old mom of three. Help a sister out!
  4. I like to get to work early. That means leaving the house an hour early for kid drop off.  Thank goodness for my in-laws with summer camp schedules. One word: Phew!
  5. My oldest two are becoming more responsible because they have to. Thumbs up.
  6. The wild child is LOVING full-time versus part-time daycare. Begged to go to school on a Saturday. Celebrate the win.
  7. I work with a lot of quality people. Since we spend just as much time, if not more, with our work family than we do our own family, that helps my heart.
  8. One night, the kids missed me so much they snuck their mattresses into our bedroom and camped out. Those mattresses are STILL there. It’s summer and mama picks her battles. New meaning to “piling in like pigs.”
  9. I’m so busy at work I don’t have time for luxuries like a lunch break. I scarf down something semi-healthy I bring from home and I’ve lost some weight. Raise the flourescent ridden roof people!
  10. I cleaned toilets one night at 10pm.
  11. Just found some dried slime on my couch from wild man intercepting his sissy’s daily collection from the last two weeks. Seriously considering just turning the couch pillow over and walking away.
  12. I wore my supermom cape a few times this week and threw dinner in the crockpot at 5:45am. Say what?
  13. One night I was so tired I completely forgot about the food in the crockpot and left it there overnight. (Yes, I remembered to at least turn the dang thing off.)
  14. I’m drinking more coffee.
  15. More socialization. Work has been like one ginormous family reunion because I know so many people and have missed getting to see them.
  16. I have ALOT to learn but I’m a lucky girl. I get to work in a job that mirrors my strengths. No job and no one is perfect but I’m going to be good at this.
  17. I haven’t mastered giving the family all of me when I’m home because I’m still adjusting to the transition. However, I will and it’s a positive that I understand that should be the end goal.
  18. The gym is still a priority because that’s my outlet and the one thing I do for myself. (Fist bump.)
  19. I ate a donut this morning. It was GOOD.
  20. Haven’t watched the news in two weeks and it’s been FANTABULOUS.
  21. Woke up spooning the dog this morning. Scandalous.

This season in life is an adjustment but it’s kind of one of those times where you dust off your super mom cape, maybe even iron it a few times (after you dust off the iron), and save the world one snotty nose, raging preteen hormone and customer complaint at a time. But first, more coffee and nerdy web content surfing…because it’s Saturday. ūüôā

 

 

“Stay-At-Home” Mom Needs to Go!

stayathomemomMy days look much different than that of five years ago.

I get to be available for my kids and spouse anytime they need me. I have more time to cook healthy meals and have a clean home (more time doesn’t always equate reality). I’m no stranger to the gym. If a kid is sick, I am the primary caregiver. My life is no longer privy to much of the narcissism, deadlines and undue stress of the corporate working world.

I am a stay-at-home mom. At least, that’s what society tells me anyway.

After resigning from a medical sales career, there is one silly thing that still bothers me: listing my occupation on forms!

I despise the phrase. Why? “Stay-at-home” is not what I do all day! It’s about as inaccurate as what our government tells us about its actions on a daily basis. It indirectly implies that a mother is “at home” and carefree during daylight hours. Rarely am I in one location for hours on end. When stay-at-home moms are at home, the majority are insanely busy, rushing to get things completed before the kids gets home. ¬†This mother is on the go, working 24/7.

Interestingly enough, when I was caring for two young children working a full-time career, I still never felt the title of “Sales and Marketing Professional” to be precise. I may have been employed with a paycheck, but I was STILL a full-time mom.

If you really think about it, how we label mothers in our society can be offensive to all and is a great source of the whole “mommy wars” dilemma.

When faced with an instance where an occupation listing is required, I cringe inside. Of course, a title should never determine one’s worth. I just prefer that the terminology provided be ACCURATE.

Let’s get some things straight about motherhood and labels:

“FULL-TIME”

Every mama that lovingly invests and wholeheartedly involves herself in the life of her offspring is a “Full-time” mother.

Women that work a paying job outside of the home don’t stop being full-time mothers just because they draw a paycheck. An assumption that their paid employment title is more defining for them than¬†being with their children all day¬†isn’t fair. I’ve been there. The paying jobs they serve in may be something they love with their whole heart or endure for necessity but their children are always on their minds and actions. Many feel guilty for not being able to be with them more.

Furthermore, just because a mother is in a constant position of service to her family without pay CERTAINLY doesn’t suggest that her role is any less time-consuming or important. There is often guilt for not providing more to the family finances or concern that they are losing professional skills as a trade-off.

Regardless of the set up, all mothers are full-time. Period.

¬†“STAY-AT-HOME” versus “WORKING”

My pet peeve! This is just the worst.

To someone who has never been one, the phrase “stay-at-home” mom flashes up visions of a mother in her PJs, eating gobs of chocolate and watching Grade C reality TV all day. Wrong! It’s insulting. Ever had to explain a gap in employment with that title on your resume? Generally speaking, employers don’t get it.

Many are envied, yet are the recipients of mean-spirited remarks.

Mothers working in corporate careers get the shaft also. Why? Just because a woman works 40+ hours a week outside of the home should NEVER imply that she is not working in her home. When she is on the job she is thinking of her children incessantly and when home, she rarely sits.

Many a mother spending every waking moment with her kid envies the career mom because she gets financial validation, adult socialization and tangible successes.

Never bad mouth a mom for her occupational season in life. They are all busy, stressed and have their own set of guilt issues.

Every kind of mother is a working mama. Period.

NOW WHAT?

The next time I have to submit an occupation title on any form, in my current role, I plan on listing “Full-time, working mother.”

When I reenter the corporate world at some point, I also plan on indicating “Full-time, working mother.”

Why? Regardless of work circumstances, all dedicated mamas fit this description. It’s a title that unites us and doesn’t divide.

Sure, I’ll have to provide some answers. However, it gives me an opportunity to validate that mom working AWAY from her kids, struggling to give 100% of herself to family and employer. To build up the confidence of the mother that has little adult interaction and is desperate for confirmation of a job well done. To find commonality. A chance to help lift any guilt a mother may be experiencing regardless of what her motherhood role looks like.

There is zero percent chance of being a perfect mama but a 100% chance of being a good one.

Full-time, working mothers…period.